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Self-Love Journey: How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Know Where to Start

Writer's picture: Zara JonesZara Jones

We often hear that we need to love ourselves, but what does that actually mean? Where do you even start when the idea of self-love feels foreign or unattainable?


For many, self-love seems like a trend—bubble baths, skincare routines, and treating yourself. But real self-love is much deeper than surface-level self-care. It’s about emotional healing, self-compassion, and unlearning self-criticism.


If you’re struggling to love yourself, this guide will help you begin your self-love journey in a way that goes beyond aesthetics and focuses on true healing.


How the journey to self-love journey feels...Nick gets it

Understanding the Self-Love Journey Beyond the Surface


Your self-love journey is not about perfection—it’s about learning to accept yourself, flaws and all. It’s about showing yourself kindness even on the hardest days.


True self-love means:

Emotional well-being – Understanding and accepting your emotions.

Mental well-being – Releasing negative self-talk and self-doubt.

Spiritual well-being – Feeling at peace with who you are.

Unconditional self-acceptance – Loving yourself at every stage, not just when you “improve.”


Loving yourself isn’t about doing more—it’s about being more present, compassionate, and forgiving toward yourself.


self-love journey and inner child healing quote
Inner Child Healing Quote

Inner Child Healing & Self-Compassion


A major part of the self-love journey is healing past wounds—especially those formed in childhood. If you grew up feeling unseen, unworthy, or constantly judged, those feelings don’t disappear as you get older. And as you get older, suppressing those emotions won't make it easier to heal.


What Is Inner Child Healing?

Inner child healing is the process of reconnecting with the younger version of yourself—the one who needed love, validation, and safety. This is how you begin to heal and rebuild your relationship with yourself.


How to Start Inner Child Healing

Journaling: Write Letters to Your Younger Self

  • Write a letter to your inner child, offering the love and encouragement you needed.

  • Example: "Dear younger me, you were always enough. You didn’t have to be perfect to be loved."


Affirmations: Speak Kindly to Yourself

  • Replace self-criticism with self-compassion.

  • Example: "I am worthy of love as I am."


Visualization: Comfort Your Younger Self

  • Imagine sitting with your younger self, hugging them, and reassuring them that they are safe and loved.


Healing your inner child is a powerful step in your self-love journey because it allows you to release self-doubt and start seeing yourself with love and understanding.


You deserved love then. You deserve love now.

Practical Ways to Show Yourself Love Daily


Self-love isn’t just a mindset—it’s a daily practice. Here are simple yet powerful ways to strengthen your self-love journey:


1. Practice Self-Forgiveness

Holding onto guilt and shame only holds you back. You are not your mistakes.

Try this: When self-doubt creeps in, pause and say, “I forgive myself. I am learning, and that is enough.”


2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Peace

Your time and energy are valuable. It’s okay to say no.

Try this: Distance yourself from toxic relationships or situations that make you feel unworthy.


3. Do Things That Bring You Joy Without Guilt

Happiness is a part of self-love. Prioritize joy like you would for someone you deeply care about.

Try this: Schedule time for something you love—even 10 minutes a day can make a difference.


Start Small, Stay Consistent


Your self-love journey is not a destination—it’s a lifelong process of learning, unlearning, and growing. Some days will feel easy, others will be hard, but what matters is that you keep choosing yourself.


Start small:

❤️ Be mindful of your self-talk.

❤️ Acknowledge your feelings without judgment.

❤️ Celebrate your small wins.


You deserve love—not just from others, but from yourself.


 


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©2025 by Zara M Jones 
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